It’s a long standing tradition in my family to never, ever celebrate on Christmas Day. I can’t recall a Christmas it’s ever happened. We never got a Santa Claus because my parents are traditionalists and we grew up knowing what Christmas was really about–for years they wouldn’t let me participate in school Christmas pageants singing Santa Claus and sleigh bells.This morning my mom called and said she's not sure she'll make it. She’s stuck in a snow storm near Brownwood and isn’t sure she’ll make it to Christmas Eve dinner. We’re celebrating Christmas Eve because my brother is scheduled to work Christmas Day. Typical.
I swore when I grew up I’d be the obnoxious Mrs. Claus down the street. And then I married a Muslim. And I don’t get any Christmas period. Well, from his side at least. My husband helps with decorations (and his family always put up a tree) but last night while I baked and cooked to prepare for this afternoon’s feast I had a Charlotte York moment. In the last season, Charlotte converted to Judaism to marry her divorce attorney Harry Goldenblatt and part of that conversion meant giving up Christmas entirely so she held her last Christmas in July. In the episode Charlotte realizes, the ”memories she was giving up might be nothing compared to the memories she was getting.” For a mixed religion couple, there are moments when being different can be hard. And the holidays only highlight those differences. (Follow www.chicktalkdallas.com/blog)
I never really got that episode until last night when I realized I will never get to have a normal Christmas. I won’t get Christmas cards or candy canes or gifts or eggnog from my in-laws. And the only celebratory “holiday” period I’ll share with my married family is Ramadan–where I starve for 29 days–I blogged about that experience earlier this year. I know it’s selfish but it just doesn’t seem like an equal trade. I’m a Christian and I like Christmas. I like decorating and cooking and parties and red and green and bells and etc. And I don’t like being hungry and starving for God. At the end of the Ramadan fasting period I did feel more enlightened. I’ll admit that. It did make the commercialization of Christmas seem sinful to me. Case in point: at every commercial break of The Nativity Story on TNT a Santa Claus was shown running to Target at the last minute and happy? Wal Mart workers flicked lights reminding us there’s only a few shopping days left. It was a little disgusting to me. Wise men celebrated the birth of Christ one minute, Kay Jewelers flashed diamonds the next.
Maybe Christmas for me will always be a strange little holiday. Not ever celebrating on the day has become a tradition unique to my family. Sometimes we’ll bump it into January: I get great sale deals! And maybe I will never get a Christmas card from my in-laws but darn it, next year I’ll send them some anyway! Watching Charlotte putting up sad little Christmas balls in July was painful because I get it. Half of my lights didn’t even make it out of the box this year. When you are the only Christmas cheer in your house, it’s often a lonely world and you lose the jingle spirit a little more each season. (Follow www.chicktalkdallas.com/blog)
I don’t want my kids to not celebrate the holiday. To not bake with me or shop with me or listen to Christmas choirs. And though my family and in-laws may never cherish the holiday season like I do and, yes, maybe I’ll never celebrate like “normal” people do, I never want to lose my Christmas spirit. Even if I’m the only one wrapping presents in my house and we’re toting them to Christmas dinner January 8th, I’m not ready to mourn Christmas, to give up on it. If Mary could ride pregnant on a donkey and deliver a baby with no epidural, I can make a Christmas of comfort and joy because, in the end, it’s not about the tinsel and tissue paper, it’s supposed to be about remembrance and God and cherishing what you have (this year many of us don’t have very much). So bah! humbug! to my Christmas mourning, it’s time for Christmas cheer!
